Monday, March 30, 2009

Guardian Angels failed to stop man from getting capped

Apparently, someone took my mind thoughts that they were bad shots with handguns, so instead he just walked up and capped his target point blank. That happened last night at the end of my block. Normally, I'd be wandering home from watching the Simpsons (at a friend's apartment on that corner), but I figured I'd just stay in because my stomach was destroyed by some dangerously corrosive Thai food. As I'm sitting there sweating and urpy in a Sunday vegetative state, I hear lots of sirens going off (usual city background noise). I'd say within 15 minutes FOX was already swooping in and I get the news flash on the TV screen - the body was still there in the background. WTF!!! Can I not go to the Argyle and pick up a bag of pork rinds and Fanta without wearing my flak jacket and kevlar helmet? Save me the trouble and let's go melee. First they take over my chicken joint, now this...FU!!!

There has also been an increased presence of Guardian Angels around my neighborhood, but they mostly look like they could kickass, in the same manner as my mom. Most of the time I see them is during the morning and early afternoon know the primetime for crimes. I don't blame them though as they are only armed with cigarrettes, an old bic (and not even a can of flamable aerosol), that trademark badass red jacket, and Kung Fu Joe's fighting style. I mean Metro Police could give them a radio so they could actually be effective sets of eyes. The cops are's only that they feel like they're being most effective in groups of 3 or more cars in an empty parking lot talking about how much the Redskins and Wizards collectively suck.

It's a good thing I am usually oblivious to the gang/turf wars going on when I'm walking back from my late night drunken excursions.